They instinctively know that these differences have within them the power to create chasms that can pull them apart, so it makes sense that their goal is to resolve their differences and once again feel as if they are on the same team. When I invite them to consider that the differences can be dissolved rather than resolved they often can’t see the difference.
For them resolving something is about arriving at the place where they can both agree on a way to look at a particular issue and in agreeing will receive the gift of connection again.
Dissolving issues means that the stories we attach to any given issue dissolve and we are invited into a new place where two opposing realities can live together harmoniously.
One way i.e.: resolving can promote enmeshment and the other, i.e.: dissolving can promote differentiation.
This is ,to my mind, a subtle but important difference.
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